What I've learned from our budget.

I thought I would take a minute (really for my own benefit) and reflect on the last year and what living on a budget has taught me.  So the Murray family is on a mega tight budget.  People always laugh and say "so are we," but I wonder if they're on a family of three living on a social worker salary type of budget.  Before having John, Matt and I were really able to eat out if we wanted to (and we always wanted to), travel some, and buy what we wanted because neither of us have horribly expensive taste and we had enough cushion monthly to do so.  Well Matt's last year of medical school has shown us that traveling for residency interviews, day care, and just life in general is hard to do on a limited budget.  The beautiful thing about this is that I've learned so much from this experience that I know that God needed us to go through this time.  I'm so thankful that budget constraints have brought forth positive things and not left us bitter, stressed, and angry with each other (although there have been some days when these emotions definitely won out).  So here's what I've learned:

1. To rely on God.  I have learned that God will provide for us what we need and what is best for us.  Our family has never gone hungry or really gone without anything that we needed.  I can be a controlling person, and it's been helpful to remember that in the great game of life, I'm not the one in control.

2. Eating in isn't as bad as I thought it was.  So we've almost completely cut eating at restaurants out of our lives, and at first, it was really, really hard. Like really, REALLY hard.  But after a little time, I've learned that there are a lot of benefits to eating in.  Firstly, John can act a fool.  He can throw his food on the floor, bang his sippy cup, and randomly yell, and this hostess/chef/waitress/maid doesn't mind.  The few times we have gone out to eat recently, I'm always quickly reminded that having a toddler in public is always a scary time.  They are so unpredictable.  Secondly, I've really learned to have more confidence in the kitchen.  I get excited to try new things and am not as scared to mess things up as I used to be.  It is also really nice to feel like I know what I'm feeding to my family and to focus on making sure it's good stuff most of the time.  Thirdly, it feels like we have more time together when we eat at home. Not sure why that is, but it's true.  And lastly, when we are able to go out to eat, I soak up every second of eating a meal that I didn't prepare, drinking a drink that I didn't pour, and leaving the table a mess and not cleaning up behing myself.  Not taking that for granted and that is for sure!

3. Parks are our very best friends.  We have learned to enjoy the crud out of a good day at the park.  We are so lucky to live in a place with several great, FREE parks.  John loves to be outside, and I find the more time I spend outside, the more I prefer it to being inside as well.  We've learned to pack a lunch, have a picnic, and then spend the afternoon running wild at the park.  This costs us nothing and is infinitely more fun than what used to consume our days: shopping, movies, etc.

4. Clothes can be reworn.  One thing I didn't think through during this time was how expensive it would be to replace an entire wardrobe thanks to some recent weight loss.  I wouldn't trade the weight for the money because you can't buy self esteem.  Having to buy a new wardrobe on a limited budget has taught me to get creative.  I used to think I needed to buy something new for every event on our calendar, but I've honestly learned to make it work with what limited supply I've got.  Who would have thought that a couple of work pants and a pair of jeans could get you through an entire winter?

5. There's a difference in needs and wants.  I have learned that perhaps I was a brat prior to this process.  I think that I didn't understand the difference between what we really needed and what I really wanted.  I wanted somethings bad enough that they were elevated to the need basis in my mind.  I have since learned that as long as our basic needs are met and occassionally we get a want, we may actually be better off.  I have learned to spend some time discerning my wants to make sure that I end up making good decisions and not making impulse purchases.  I've also learned that if I want something bad enough, that a little time before being able to get it won't kill me.  For instance, I would love to redo my living room.  I'm just not loving it as much as I once did.  Now I used to would have just done it.  No questions asked.  Now I know that I can live with this living room.  That it will not kill me to not be in love with my living room, and little by little, I can begin to change it until it's a room I love.  What is it with my generation and instant gratification?

6. Gym memberships are not necessary to obtain weight loss goals.  So I've spent more money than I'd like to admit on gym memberships in the last 5 years.  I would even use the gym a good bit.  But in perfect irony, I had to lose the gym membership to save a little money and decided that the mother earth could provide me with an even better treadmill, and, voila, 40 pounds gone.  You don't have to pay big bucks to lose weight.  You just have to be willing to work at it.  This was great news for me and the budget!

7. I don't want to be on a budget forever.  Yep. I've learned that while this time has been nice and taught me a lot things that I'll use for the rest of my life, I'm ready to be living on a slightly bigger budget.