Please forgive the cell phone quality pictures! Matt had to work so I couldn't lug around the stroller, the camera, the stuff, and the John all by myself. The camera was sacrificed...and believe me, I'm so mad at myself! We got to meet Santa!!! Anyhow- here are some pics of our day together!
I always expect him to like Dream Along with Mickey when he sees it, but everytime he has this reaction. He is terrified of "dat mean witch." Poor guy.
John and Aiden! Are they not adorable?
They played so well and so hard. Cute boys.
John was pretty excited about seeing Santa!
Turns out Aiden was too.
Telling Santa he wants "presents, toys, and legos."
I'm pretty sure that's the real Santa.
Even mama got some Santa lovin.
So honestly it was a totally weird day at Disney. Checked my phone around 3ish to see the news that had broken earlier that day about the dear sweet people of CT. I never thought that I could feel unhappy at the happiest place on Earth, but I was just crushed. Immobilized really. I think I sort of fumbled around in a daze until we got home and I could just sit and reflect on whether or not the news was real or some sort of bad dream. It honestly felt wrong to be having so much fun when that was going on in another family's life. It just felt disrespectful.
I woke up the next morning to John saying "mama!! I awake!!" like he does most mornings. I walked into his room and put some cream on his little nose that still had a scrape on it from his fall. I gave him his vitamin that he's starting taking since he's become a picky toddler eater. I thought about how every morning/day/night I look over literally every hair on his head and cry with him over every little scrape on his nose. I cannot imagine the intensity of pain that the families feel. If I even begin to let my mind wander into the "what if it had been my baby" thoughts, I immediately feel so, so sick. So enraged. So betrayed. So lost. So inadequate.
God bless everyone involved. I will never pretend to be wise enough to know whether it is gun control, mental health reform, or anything else that is the answer to this, but I do know what it means to be a parent. To love someone way more than you love yourself. And with the heart of a parent, I pray fervently for these families. For their strength. For them to just be able to put one foot in front of the other. Merciful Lord bless them.
And Sunday we went to the beach. It brought me a little peace and plenty of time to pray.
It is December. And I was at the beach. Weird huh?