Forget my last blog about your child will sleep eventually. I am convinced Sam is going to milk night wakings for as long as he possibly can.
I need some help from moms who have lived through bad sleepers. What did it take to remedy the issue??
I have been reading a lot about sleep training and I have identified three methods:
1. Extinction- fully crying it out without any soothing or reassurance.
2. Crying it out with timed checks for soothing.
3. Fading...or the gentle sleep method of parent in the room soothing while they learn to sleep without a crutch.
I know that our problem is that Sam nurses to sleep. I was ok with getting up a couple (few...who am I kidding) times a night, but now Sam has decided that he prefers to just be attached to me all night. He screams the second I lay him back down at night. He's been teething so I was giving him the benefit of the doubt but it appears this problem is here to stay. He's also starting to go through separation anxiety and so he screams the second I'm out of his sight by day and night.
Our other huge problem is all of the sleep training things talk about the importance of getting naps during the day at any cost before starting the night training, and Sam does the same thing at nap time. Screams the minute I lay him down or stays asleep for 30 minutes and then wakes up.
So moms who have survived bad sleepers: what did you do? was it just a phase they got through on their own? Did it take several nights of crying on everyone's part?
I need some sleep. I can wake up for a night feeding, but I can't stay awake for 1.5 at a time every few hours nursing, laying down for him to wake up immediately and scream, and then repeat until it finally works.
Help.
I am by no means the sleep expert but I will share what worked for us. At about 4 months I decided he had to sleep more at night. I read and read all the many opinions, and decided what I could handle. I was pretty sure he still really needed to eat once at night. So I started the bed time routine thing bath, nurse, and I nursed him to sleepish around 8. Then if he woke up before 1-2am, for the first week I would go in give him his paci pat him alittle and let him cry some. Never picked him up. ONLY around 1-2 am would I nurse him. Then did the same if he woke up from 3-6am. Those were the times that worked for me. He did so much better than I expected and really would not cry long if at all. I eventually would try to let him go back to sleep on his own before going in to reassure him. I don't know how often it is possible but sometimes it helps for dad to do the reassuring. It only took a few weeks and he started sleeping most of the night. Hope this helps. Nothing earth shattering but what worked for us.
ReplyDeleteI randomly found your blog through some other blogs that I follow and check in from time to time :) We have a 3 yr old, 2 yr old, and one on the way. We went through this with our first child when I started feeding him bottles at night instead of nursing him to sleep. We did the Richard Ferber method from his book "Solve your Child's Sleep Problems" where you essentially let them cry it out but go in to check on them and reassure them at designated time intervals. He has the chart of times in the book, but you can adjust it to your comfort level. Based on our personal experience and the experience of friends, this method is usually highly successful, especially for babies (vs toddlers - I have no tips for solving a 2 year olds sleep problems :) He cried for 45 minutes (with us checking in on him) the first night, then 20 the second, then about 3 the third night. After that he was pretty much able to put himself to sleep without crying every night. It was painful but worth it. Good luck - hope you get some relief!
ReplyDeleteSomehow I forgot to respond! Thanks to both of you for the great advice. I actually did use the Ferber method (or some variation of it) and it helped so much. We're just getting back from vacation though so I'm afraid we have a little more forbearing ahead of us to get back to normal again. :/ Y'all are so sweet to comment! Thanks again!
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