A few weeks ago at an incredible group that I've been going to at our church (Ministry of Mothers Sharing...if you have it, try it. It's awesome), someone was discussing a life decision and someone else said "God wants us to be happy." I have no idea why, but the statement stuck with me, and I just kept thinking it over in my mind. On the one hand I felt like "of course God wants us to be happy," and then something else would make me feel like "but does he? Is happiness God's goal for us?" So I did what I always do when I have a deep question...I waited until Matt and I were both exhausted and laying in bed and asked him if he thought God wanted us to be happy. He immediately without hesitation said "No. I don't' think God cares if we're happy. I think happiness is a man-made emotion." Well...
(Anyone who knows my husband would find it surprising that he said this I'm sure. He is the most fun loving guy around, but I'm telling you, the man can be a harsh realist. I actually love this about him because I feel like his realism and my optimism make for a nice balance, but it is definitely a little known Matt fact.)
At first, I was sort of frustrated at his matter of fact answer to that question. His response made me want to be defiant, and tell him how wrong he was. That I had thought long and hard and that I did believe that God cared about my happiness, but I couldn't muster up a case for the other point of view. I knew that I must not have agreed with it since I first heard someone say it or it wouldn't have stuck with me for this long.
So I started asking more questions to my harsh philosopher? "Do you think God wants us to experience joy?"
Yes.
Peace?
Yes.
Content?
Yes.
Ok...well I could wrap my mind around those things as well. That all made perfect sense to me so why did the happiness one throw me off so much?
And I think I have come to my own conclusion. I do believe that God wants us to be totally joyful and peaceful people. I think a lot of people equate that with happiness, but I think in my own heart that the differences there have become more than just semantics. Happiness appears to have become people's complete goal for their lives. I am guilty like most parents of having that as an ultimate wish for my child. "I just want him to be happy." I think when I say that about John, I mean that I don't want him to experience any pain, sadness, suffering, and always be sheltered from the darker side of life. I don't mean that I want him to be at peace always or joyful always. I literally mean I want him to experience no tragedy or adversity. I just want him to be happy.
So that's where I figured it out for myself. Humans have created this sense of being that cannot exist. We have created a world in which every one's quest for their own happiness is taught to be more important than the greater good. More important than perseverance. More important than experiencing discomfort while working towards a positive outcome. Happiness is self-serving. It does not care if another is hurt in the process. It is the faux-peace of instant gratification. It does not always believe in doing the right thing even when it hurts. It does not allow for feelings of rejection, pain, loneliness, grief. Happiness has no room for those essential life experiences. Happiness is an unattainable goal.
I think we're already seeing the negative effects of a world obsessed with happiness alone, and it isn't pretty. I actually read an article today about how even the church in recent years has shied away from focus on suffering and death and moved toward more constant feel good, moving messages. It's quite an interesting thing if you really ponder it.
I hesitate to even publish this as we also live in a world that is desperate for love and desperate for the message that I believe Christianity has to offer, but for a lot of those people maybe the message is that God knows suffering. He knows perseverance. He knows adversity. He knows all of these things, and He can bring you through them with His peace and with His joy.
So I think I've changed my mind. What do I want for John? I want him to be holy. Because I think that in holiness we experience all of the fullness that God has to offer with the reality that life will not always be easy. That sometimes things will really suck and we won't understand them, but that we will get through them. I really want him to know when life throws him a curve ball that there is somewhere to go. Happiness doesn't teach that, but holiness definitely does.
And in fairness, I want him to experience the simple joys in life that holiness allows. Being blown away by the sunset. Or knowing the joys of hearing children laugh. You know...all of the things that truly make you happy...if such an emotion exists. ;)
I've been around the world, but I'm just keepin' it real folks.
