Keepin It Real Thursday: What do I do with my day?

So I'm sure most of you have come across this at some point in your internet life, but it never ceases to make me remember my life pre-John and how little I understood what being a mom was like.  I can remember saying that I didn't think my life would change all that much because it wasn't like I was a big party animal or anything... first strike Jenni, first strike.  I didn't realize how much I ate out, went to the movies, laid on the couch watching lifetime movies or Jersey Shore, traveled somewhere without having to bring a uhaul's truck worth of stuff, pondered things quietly, etc.

One way that Matt always describes this change is that having a child is constant. And it really is.

And becoming a stay-at-home for the moment has shown me that being a stay-at-home mom is beyond constant.  It is so full time.  When I worked, I could put in a little leave time and go run an errand that would be easier to do without John. I could go out to eat on a lunch break. I could sit quietly in my cubicle and scribble a grocery list if I needed to.  I could very easily call up family and friends on our commute to and from work and spend a minute catching up.  Yes. Being a working mom is hard so don't think I'm minimizing the trying to keep a job happy, children happy, spouse happy, and a home in somewhat of stable and clean environment. And Lord knows if you're brave enough to also volunteer some of your "free" time to a good cause!

But the switch from being a working mom to a stay-at-home mom has made me relate to this article so much more.  I have nap time.  I have nap time to accomplish EVERYTHING that I need to do. During John's two hour nap, I either- pay bills/manage other family stuff, clean the house, work in the yard, plan the grocery list, check my email/facebook/blogger, schedule appointments, etc.  Every other minute of my day is consumed with John (and I feel bad even saying this because I know my friends with more than one child are thinking...at least you get nap time!).  I'm sure I will eventually get the hang of this or go back to work, but either way, I feel guilty about not having much time to catch up with friends on the phone.  I'd love to be able to do that, but a certain little fella gets jealous when I'm on the phone and he's awake.  He tends to be the most defiant when I'm on the phone.  And who wants to talk to someone who is saying "No John! No don't touch that! No don't put that fork in the electrical outlet John!" the entire conversation?  Luckily, I have great friends who understand this and wait around for me until I'm able to find that magic moment in a day.

So just so I can look back one day at laugh at this and think to myself "what a drama queen" here's a little recap of the days events:

6:45 am- alarm goes off because I've finally realized that if I can get a 15-30 minute jump on John with a little meditation on the daily readings and getting dressed I feel so much better.
6:47 am- I hear "mmmmmooommmmmyyyy where areju?  Guess poopsiedo is on to my 15-30 minutes of calm before the storm.
6:48 am- Get up and get John who immediately tells me that he wants to get all of his friends (aka:stuffed animals) and watch Elmo Potty Time on the couch which I allow but not without a little guilt and feeling like I'm giving him ADHD with allowing too much tv time.
6:50 am-7:00 am- pour the milk, add the miralax, pass it off. Pass off the breakfast which I know will mean that I'll be vacuuming the rug later today because he will make a mess. Administer the zyrtec and think maybe Matt's right...maybe it is time to try and wean him off of his zyrtec so he's not handicapped with allergies for life.  (I'm good at guilt if you wondered...)
7:00 am- sit down on the couch with my own breakfast that I share with John..except for my diet coke because I don't think a 300 lb man could take it from my grip in the mornings.  I will have to say that eating breakfast while watching Elmo Potty Time made me a little sick feeling.
7:15 am- Begin the process of getting John and I ready to go to the post office and to the ymca.
8:45 am- FINISH GETTING US LOADED IN THE CAR! It took me an hour and a half to get us out of the door! That's not even a joke.  It is so hard to get out of our house these days.  John is like a tiny tornado destroying everything in his path in the mornings. And I had to pack the stuff to mail to folks, a snack and drink for the children's room at the Y, a drink for myself, and stuff for the pool afterwards.  That required 3 separate bags.
9:00 am- Go inside the post office to mail things while John is trying to dismantle the shelves with all of the pretty envelopes.  Of course, he is somehow able to be adorable while doing so and everyone is ooing and ahing over him.  I've decided that taking him out in public is a ministry these days because the retired of FL just brighten up at seeing him.
9:15 am- Get to the Y and lug in all of our belongings and him. Check him into the kids room after spending 10 minutes of warm up time there with him.  He cannot do a drop and go in the kids room yet.  He will go into panic mode.
9:28 am-squeeze into my first spin class. Die.
10:30 am- pick John up and go through the process that is sunscreening and changing for the pool.
10:45-11:15 am: Enjoy some mom and John play time in the pool.
11:15 am: Get out of the pool and begin the undo the pool stuff process which is pretty exhausting.
11:30 am-Get home, cook lunch while talking to my mom about my sister's upcoming wedding and what needs to be done for bridesmaid's dresses.
12:00 pm- read a book, sing a song, and lay down John for a nap.
NAP TIME!!!!!  Which will involve this blog and a grocery list and the afternoon will involve grocery shopping and cooking dinner and hopefully a little train set building because John is pretty excited about it!

Because all of that sounded so negative about motherhood here's the upside to my new found life as a stay-at-home mom, my life is starting to feel more balanced.  I finally feel like I'm not being spread so thin.  I don't think as a working mom those around me felt like I wasn't giving them my all because I was, but it can take such a toll on you to be that available to others every minute of your day.  As a stay-at-home mom, I can work out without a load of guilt because it's just one hour a day that John is playing with other kids (which he needs).  I can keep our house up without feeling like it is consuming my every moment on the weekends.  I can really be there for Matt when he's home because I'm pretty interested in what someone who is not 23 months has to say about the outside world. ;) When Matt has a day off, I know I have time for all of the other stuff to get done so I can really just be off with him.  We can spend a day just playing and enjoying our family and not having to go through the list of things errands that need to be run or things that have to be done. We can just relax. And most importantly, I wouldn't trade this time with John for anything.  Some day soon I'll either be working again or having another baby or any number of other possibilities, but for this moment, I'm able to just enjoy watching him learn new things every day and time is feeling like it's slowing down just a little bit...not enough...but a little bit.

Well this blog was too long and didn't go at all where I set out for it to, but Thursday's are about keeping it real so there ya go! My current reality.

Keep it real out there folks!