I was a little offended upon first reading this, but when I think deep down I know that the majority of my life is consumed with the well being of my children. Is this a bad thing? No. Believe me. As someone who worked with abused and neglected children, "over-parenting" feels almost like a joke. I mean how about we go worry about the kids who are not eating today and not about the ones who are being forced to eat from every food group by their helicopter moms. They will do just fine. Maybe face some tough life lessons when they realize they're not as great as mom made them believe, but we're talking first world problem stuff. Off topic...sorry.
So I've been thinking about this over-parenting idea a good bit. I usually do spend all of my time from sun up to sun down building a great childhood for my kids. In the car, we listen to toddler tunes or Christian music because I don't want them to hear garbage. I don't watch the news because John will be the first to ask me what a rapist is (he's always listening). Our family days are child centered activities. Let's face it...my life is child centered. I've always thought of it as that's just where I am in this phase of life, and I will have my radio, tv, and life back way sooner than I'd prefer I'm sure so it doesn't usually get me down.
But... (I feel like the I'm dumping a girl on the bachelor...the ever dreaded BUT)
Today after loading up two kids who were crying in unison as we left the park (and one of them continued to scream for miles) and after trying to sing kumbaya and rock-a-bye baby as we drove without success, I saw a cd (should I be embarrassed that I still use them?) that said March 2010 on it and popped it in. In March of 2010, I had no children and I must have been feeling peppy in early spring because it had some serious feel good tunes. So I drove the rest of the way home with the music a little louder than I would normally listen to it for fear of harming sweet, sensitive ears, and I enjoyed the glorious sunshine that we have today. And I sang my heart to The Cure for several minutes before I realized the screamer was asleep and the whiner was happily playing with a raisin box and a rock.
And I was so relaxed.
Perhaps a moment of not giving myself fully to my children was a welcomed change by them? Perhaps they were relieved to be out of the spotlight for a moment? Perhaps they love The Cure as much as I do? I'm not sure. But I do know for a moment in time, it felt good to detach from the backseat.
No worries though. I won't be leaving my family to become a groupie, but maybe it would be good if I left them mentally everyday to just be me and enjoy something that Jenni, the person, loves. Maybe I can learn something from being criticized for giving too much of my time and my self.
If you are like me and are on mom-mode all of the time, you might benefit from tuning out your child for a moment. It's pretty cathartic. Or do you already do this and I'm just slow to figure this out? Either way. It was a lesson learned.
