I should definitely be napping instead of blogging, but I wanted to get Sam's birthday documented before sleep deprivation makes me forget it!
I was scheduled for an induction on Monday morning which I was feeling a little guilty about because I wanted to let Sam be until he wanted to come on his own, but I also didn't want to end up in a csection because of his size. So, after finally making peace with the induction and falling asleep around 11 pm Sunday night, I was awakened around 2:20ish by some unexpected loss of fluid. I immediately thought I had a bladder malfunction but when I moved I lost a little more. So after the last 6 weeks of Matt constantly asking me if my water just broke whenever I called for him, I had to wake him up and say "grab a towel! I think my water just broke!" He had a quick response and by the time I was up it was very clear that baby was coming on the 21st whether I was induced or not! I think it was Sam's way of taking up for his dad because I kept insisting to Matt that people never have their water break anymore and that is just a thing of the movies. (Yes I realize he delivers babies for a living, but it's hard for me to accept that he has out knowledged me in child birth)
Luckily, Matt said I had plenty of time to take a shower before we went in so we both took quick showers, grabbed our bags, and headed for the hospital. It was actually very exciting for it to happen that way, and I will forever be grateful that it did. It was fun to tiptoe out of the house in the middle of the night to have this baby while the world slept. It was like our own little secret.
By the time we arrived at the hospital, I was having some pretty good contractions so I assumed I would be dilated a good bit, but then when I was checked I was the same 80% effaced and 2 centimeters dilated as I was at my last appointment. I started to worry some at that point because the contractions were getting stronger and I knew we needed to wait on the epidural so that things didn't slow too much. I held off on the epidural for about three hours and when the nurse said I had made it to 5 centimeters, I cried uncle and said please get me an epidural stat! After the epidural, I was able to rest some here and there and spend some really sweet time with Matt while the world was still asleep. It was really nice.
Unfortunately, that damn epidural started to wear off so I tried to bear with it some thinking it would help me know when to push, but I finally had to surrender and get some help. At this point, I was 10 centimeters dilated, but baby was still high and needed to labor down so my doctor said he was going to give me a little more time and get anesthesia back in to get me more comfortable before we started trying to push. I agreed at that point because the pain was getting intense. For some crazy reason after the anesthesia people came and dosed me up with enough medicine to numb a horse and fiddled with the epidural itself, it became clear that this puppy was numbing the mess out of my legs but that the rest of me was not accepting it. Everyone decided it was something odd with my anatomy. Meanwhile Sam labored on down, and I was now at level 6000 with pain and pressure and started to sort of freak the bleep out.
I am not the natural child birth type. I want an epidural. I want every ounce of medicine they can give me, but alas the pressure become so unbearable that I just started screaming "please do a csection! Just do a csection!" I was told it was too late for that and that I could push to help with the pain and pressure. Well after they let me push once and I realized this baby was coming out this way I just put my mind to it that he was coming now and not later. I kept being told not to push while we waited on the doctor, and I promptly told Matt to get ready to catch because I literally could not stop pushing. Craziest sensation I've ever experienced, but I was ready to get that baby out. Luckily, one of the OB hospitalists was able to run in so Matt didn't have to deliver Sam and my doctor made it just in time to deliver the placenta. To say that I was a hott mess is an understatement. I was hooting and hollering and probably screamed some profanities, but I was totally under prepared for that. Everyone told me that I didn't act as bad as I thought I did, but I'm pretty sure there will be "that time Matt's wife went crazy in the delivery room" stories going on for a long time around that floor. :/
Perhaps there is something to all that pain to motivate you because I pushed a loooonnnggg time with John and maybe 5 to 10 minutes with Sam, if even that long.
After I came to and realized that the immediate pain relief I felt meant that I had just given birth to Sam, I didn't really look back. It was awful and then BOOM it was over, and here was the sweetest little guy around. Sam had the cord wrapped around his body several times and was a little slow to cry so he did have a tiny bit of fluid left in his lungs. They said he was a little shell shocked so we had to spend extra time in the nursery transitioning and it was a little scary for us. We knew that he was perfectly fine, but it was hard having to go to the nursery to see him. I cannot imagine the moms and dads who have to do that day in and day out with babies in the NICU. It was really hard to see them poking and prodding him for those 24 hours or so. I was so heartbroken and just wanted to protect him from all of it. Thankfully on Tuesday they brought him back to us for good and we all got time to snuggle and cuddle for an extra day before going home.
Sam Louis Murray was born weighing 8 lbs 2 oz and measuring 20 1/4 inches long. He has tons of dark hair and looks strikingly like his brother. It almost felt like deja vu looking over at him while they got him all cleaned up. He is the sweetest little guy. Since we've been home he has taken to the eating every two hours and sleeping great by day and cluster feeding all night. It is so funny to watch this little personality shift happen as the sun sets. Well I'm not sure funny is that right word...
So far he is breast feeding like a champ and I feel really good (other than exhausted). It is so different from John's delivery when I was still very sick at this point in the process. I find myself having to force myself to take it easy because I'm so eager to be up and at em and back in our routine of going and doing.
Big brother is adjusting like a champ and is so sweet with Sam. He has had a rare moment when he expresses his dislike, but they have been very few and far between. Mostly he just loves on him and plays around him. He has also been so mature about sharing mom when I have to feed him. I couldn't be prouder of John for how he's handling things. I am a blessed mama of two amazingly beautiful boys.
And here are some pics!
Trying to look like I was feeling great.
Welcome home sweet Sam!! We love you!